Circa two years ago. This is spring light from 2014 - and I can’t tell you what happened to the two years between this photo, and the 15 frames I snapped walking to/fro a client appointment this week. But I was genuinely shocked that I found Hamilton City so beautiful this week. It’s almost an old trope of this blog that every spring I extract myself from some seasonal funk, and I wheel out something like: “wow, where have I been, isn’t it so pretty, why didn’t I take any photos all winter”. But this is different! I promise.
It’s thunderingly disingenuous of me to drivel: “I can’t tell you what happened”. I fucking well can: Job, job, wife, house, baby, matriculated varsity, job… Even as I type this I am reviled at the laziness of suggesting that maybe job may have had something to do with a general dulling of senses and watering of creativity. But, I’d be equally repulsed if I didn’t have the courage to acknowledge I have made middling to average decisions around previous iterations of job. So, lets stop playing footsies here and call it what it is. I think that current job is good for me.
So, current job, huh? Well, Mme. L. has had to much mollify me after mortifying me with her monstrous mirth at my innocent and stupid observation that: “I am the dumbest person in the room” whenever I am near new colleagues. Between giggles she gasped: “I wondered when you’d figure that out”. It’s good for me. A misplaced and undeserved ego that stopped any learning needed to wither and die. So now I find myself raging that Ms. Marketing 22 y.o. doesn’t understand her own brilliance. I am aware I am a temporary affliction that Mr. Savant 23 y.o. has to temper, humour and help. Myself? I am Mr. 34 years spent and …what can I possibly offer these kids…? i’ll just hold on and learn.
I’ll also appreciate the benefits of an expanding and tested brain: I see old scenes in new ways.